I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
