You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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