In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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