you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
