Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
