There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
