She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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