i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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