i think my tv is drunk
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
