He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
