I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
