i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
