We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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