Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
