Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
MIDGETS
????
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
