im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
