Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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