I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
