Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
