I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
