We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
