dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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