I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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