Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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