I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
