end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
