1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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