My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
