I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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