I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
