i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
