How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
