you guys were way drunker than both of me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
