I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
