I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
