ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
