they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
