i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
