I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
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You. Win. At. Life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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