No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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