When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
