Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
