Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize