ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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