woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
