if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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