im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
