so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
