It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
