do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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