While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
