i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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