turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
