Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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