porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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