i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize