so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
