So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
