On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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