Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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