I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We smell like vodka and hangover
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