I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He passed out mid-signature
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
