So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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