Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
