I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
