I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can I color on your dick again?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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