perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
