maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
