I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
