I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
