I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
one might say we're banned from that church
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
