Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
