sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
