umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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