Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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