Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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