try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
